Ad Discendum, Non Ad Docendum

Привожу первую часть из найденого на просторах интернета текстовичка под названием computer-scince.txt.

Не уверен в авторстве текста Romuald’а Żyłła, но найден был в его закромах

ASSEMBLER is a language. Any language that can take a half-dozen keystrokes and compile it down to one byte of code is all right in my books. Though for the REAL programmer, assembler is a waste of time. Why use a compiler when you can code directly into memory through a front panel.

BASIC is to computer programming as “qwerty” is to typing.

BASIC is not a language. It’s a plot to sucker poor unsuspecting consumers into believing that they should buy a computer because ANYONE can learn how to program.

Real Programmers don’t use BASIC. In fact, *no* programmers use BASIC after reaching puberty.

C is almost a real language. (see assembler) Even the name sounds like it’s gone through an optimizing compiler. Get rid of all of those stupid brackets and we’ll talk. (see LISP)

DEBUGGING – Removing the needles from the haystack.

FORTRAN is not a language. It’s a way of turning a multi-million dollar mainframe into a $50 programmable scientific calculator.

LOGO is not a language. It’s a way to simulate ‘skid marks’ made by turtles with serious bowel control problems.

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

PASCAL is not a language. It was an experiment combining the flexibilty of C with that of a drug-crazed penguin. It is also the ‘language’ of choice of many CS professors who aren’t up to handling REAL programming. Hence, it is not a language.

PROGRAMMER – Red eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate monsters.

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and none dare criticize it.

It is later than you think.

If a program is useful, it must be changed.

If a program is useless, it must be documented.

Your fault – core dumped.

You still need the last file you removed.

Особенно понравилось о FORTRAN’е и PASCAL’е